Rebuilding My Sanctuary
After 20 years of living, one of the most important things I’ve learned is to appreciate the constants in life — family, friends, traditions, my bed.
About 18 years ago I took one of the first big leaps in life from my bed to my crib. Since then and throughout 2 big moves in my life, I’ve slept in the same bed and it shows. It slants to the right, a victim of our merciless jumping. It creaks when sat on, as if to say “my backs just not what it used to be”. It’s lovingly decorated with stickers and nail polish testings.
My bed’s perfectly worn in feeling has comforted my friends — old and new, secret crushes, immediate and distant relatives, babies, elderly, and all. This bed has warmed me on nights when I felt overwhelmingly loved and utterly alone.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m hopelessly sentimental. I’ve tried to curve my over attachment to memories and the materiel things that remind me of those memories, but my bed has been the longest standing material object that I love, and by extension my entire room.
My sanctuary, my safe space, the place where my friends and I spent our formative years, 6th grade to university, trying to figure out ourselves, our families, boys, how to balance chocolate and exercise, faith, and where we can happily fit in the world.
If you can relate with the easily attached person I am, you understand why even though people in my life have left their mark and left, I wasn’t ready to give up the corners of my room that reminded me of them.
But, for a few months, I couldn’t seem to get rid of this feeling that I was stuck in a crack in my timeline. Trying to keep the past close with one had and still reach out into the future with the other made my feet stationary. I felt cemented in my spot watching everyone else grow and succeed from the sidelines.
That’s when I got the urge to completely re-do my room. From freshly painted blue walls to all new furniture and even a new bed (my mom is really happy about this, she was so embarrassed that her 20 year old daughter was still sleeping in her childish twin sized bed), I’ve cultivated a new sanctuary for myself. A place that I feel mirrors who I am now and releases good energy guiding me to who I can and want to be. Change is good, ya’ll. Especially creative change and forward thinking changes in lifestyle. I’m excited for the memories and the epiphanies this new room will bring. I’m also beginning to realize that it’s okay to move away from the constants in life, it’s okay to jump out of your comfort zone and set up tent there :)
PS - If anyone has any cool DIY room decor ideas, send them my way! My old room was covered in pictures in posters & now my walls are all plain. I want to find an updated way to dress them up again?!